And the scale said…

And the scale said…

Two weeks ago, I went out to lunch. And starting with that one act, over the last two weeks, I casually undid several months of healthy eating. This morning, I stepped on the scale to find that I am 10 pounds heavier than my lowest weight this year, which you may recall was that number that no longer had a “2″ in front of it. HOWEVER. I am back on track today. I ate good, whole, healthy foods. I wrote them down, along with their P+ values. I grocery shopped today and bought clean foods that did not contain wheat (except for some Crystal Lite, which does not contain wheat but is not a clean food). And tonight I cooked up enough chicken breasts to get me through my weekend at work. I can only hope that a couple (several?) of those pounds I saw reported on the scale this morning were the result of some water retention and will come off quickly. The rest will have to come off the good, old-fashioned way, however, through some hard work and determination.

To say I am having a stressful time is an understatement. Time is both dragging and speeding past me. The thought of all the stuff I have going on is very overwhelming, so I am trying not to think too much about it, although I do tend to spend a lot of time inside my head. 

This week, my sister and I spent an overnight in New York to celebrate my birthday (which also was the Last Hurrah of this slide back into my old, horrible eating habits). We ate some good food (Mexican food and cupcakes, for the most part), did some drinking (sangria, beer, margaritas), stayed in a hotel (smallest hotel room I have ever seen but also everything we needed), and saw the Avett Brothers at Terminal 5 (a great concert and so much fun to be a part of). I came back ready to recommit to myself and my goals and my journey, and I am so grateful to my sister and my mom for giving me this chance to get away! It was such a fun time, and I hope that we get to do it again sometime.

Make it a great day, everyone!

So let’s talk about food and body image issues…

So let’s talk about food and body image issues…

I couldn’t come up with a cutesy title for this one…sorry! And while I don’t usually go super deep on this blog because I don’t really know who is reading and I don’t know that I want everyone to see that far into what’s going on in my brain, I thought I would actually blog about what I am thinking about today. If you don’t really feel like you want to go there, it might be time to stop reading.

Anyway, I have been seeing a therapist since January. I originally found her through my employer’s generous Employee Assistance Program and went to her to deal with a specific issue I had going on. However, as is often the case, I think, when one goes to therapy, I discovered that I had a lot going on under the surface that was all connected. I had said in the past that if I ever had something happen that “drove” me into therapy, I would probably find plenty of reason to stay there for a while, and I am finding this to be very true. After I meet with her, I find myself with a lot to think about; this week, I am thinking about food and body image issues.

Last weekend, I celebrated a birthday. While that is just one day, the celebrations surrounding it were sort of ongoing. The weekend started with a lunch out (not birthday-related) on Friday, where I had a martini, bread and butter, a salad and entree, and a dessert. That is not a Weight Watchers-friendly meal. On Saturday, a friend at work treated me to an omelet for breakfast in honor of my birthday, which was not until the next day. I also grabbed soft pretzel bites to snack on because they had my favorite cinnamon icing dip with them, and then because I had already been “bad,” I continued the day by having lunch in the cafeteria, in spite of the healthy lunch I had packed that was waiting for me in the staff refrigerator. On Sunday, we had a party at work, and I definitely indulged, on pizza, birthday cake, Buffalo chicken dip, some cookie bars, and even some regular Cherry Coke. This was the day that I kind of officially lost control.

On Monday, I worked for a bit, and then I got a cancellation phone call from my therapist’s office. I didn’t handle it well, and I definitely comforted myself with food. The next day, on the way to work for a disaster drill that had been planned, I stopped for McDonald’s for breakfast. On the way to work, I got a call from my therapist rescheduling the missed appointment (Yay!)  for that day…and once our drill was over, I decided to wait out the rest of the morning at the mall, where I got a chai at Barnes & Noble and then some Chick-fil-a for lunch. I then had a meeting at night at a local sports bar (in one of their banquet rooms), and I enjoyed some bar food there. And yesterday, I went out to lunch with my mom and then out to dinner after my yoga class, and I didn’t even give Weight Watchers a thought through either of those meals.

So let’s recap. Last week, I reported that I had reached a weight that didn’t have a “2″ as the first number. This week, I undid a lot of that progress by letting my emotions get the best of me and give me “permission” (“I am having a bad week, so I “deserve” to eat multiple fast food meals and also that chocolate rabbit I have left over from Easter.”) to eat poorly. I stepped briefly on the scale at my mom’s house yesterday and hopped right back off, horrified by what I saw. I am not going to a Weight Watchers meeting this week because I don’t want to face the scale. We are planning my last birthday celebration for Friday, dinner out with my parents and sister, and then I am going to have pull myself up by my bootstraps and get a grip. This is how those stories of people gaining back all the weight they lost and more start…with one stressful week. I refuse to be one of those people.

However, the more I read about what drives women in their emotional eating, the more I realize that this is a common theme. We feel that our bodies are not “good enough,” and by extension we feel like we might not be “good enough,” and we punish ourselves by going on multi-day binges. I can have weeks and weeks in a row where I am centered and eating well and feeling good. And then something will happen, and I will fall off the Weight Watchers wagon. Sometimes, it’s a one day slip-up; sometimes, it’s just a one meal slip-up. And sometimes it goes on for an entire week and leaves me feeling a little physically ill with some of that heartburn that eating a wheat-free diet usually takes care of.

While I am happier with what I see in the mirror now than I used to be, I still remember what it felt like to realize how big I had “allowed” myself to become. I still remember walking down the street and hearing a car horn and a voice yell, “Hey, thunder thighs!” I still remember the day a former coworker told me that I could stand to lose fifty pounds. Anytime a person gets negative feedback, I think it’s hard to forget, and it’s even more difficult to replace it in our minds with anything positive someone might have to say.

Anyway, this is just one week on my multi-year weight loss journey, and I know that it is not the week that will signal the undoing of all the good I have done. However, I have to admit that it has been a tough one, and I can’t wait to get back to the place where I feel like I am in control of the food instead of the food being in control of me.

Make it a great day, everyone!

Birthday Recap

Birthday Recap

Yesterday was my 36th birthday! Because it was a Sunday, I spent the day at work, but my wonderful coworkers helped me to have a nice day of celebration. We started out the day with bagels, and for lunch we had a pizza party, with sides of Buffalo chicken dip and broccoli salad. My coworker Deanna even came in on her day off to bring me the Ultimate Coconut Cake from Wegmans, which is the best store-bought cake (and actually one of the best off all types of cakes) that I ever had. It was nice to spend the day surrounded by friends, even if it meant that I had to work to do it.

I even did a bit of shopping for myself on my birthday, on my iPhone, on my lunch break. Oh, technology, I love you so.

Anyway, there is so lead up to this story, of course. For the past couple of weeks, I have been enjoying smoothies on occasion for breakfast. For the most part, my smoothies have consisted of a container of Wegmans plain Greek yogurt, 1/2 cup of unsweetened coconut milk, about a half of a bag of Dole frozen fruit (I like the strawberry, banana, and peach combination best, followed by the strawberry and banana combination), and a big handful of kale. These come out to 3 or 4 P+, and they have enough protein that I am kept pretty satisfied until late morning. I use a blender that I got as a bridal shower gift that came from Target, and it works fine, but I would not do something like add ice cubes to it or anything because I lack confidence in its ability to deal well with the ice cubes.

Several weeks ago, I was with my mom at Wegmans, enjoying some down time after eating lunch, and I decided to take a wander around the store to grab a bottle of seltzer and a snack. My attention was drawn to the produce section, where a man with an ear mic was doing a demonstration of a Vitamix. I had, of course, heard of the Vitamix, but I didn’t think that spending $400+ on a blender was a wise financial decision. I did enjoy an amazing lime and mint smoothie that the demonstrator was whipping up, and I swooned over the power of the motor and the ease of the clean-up and the fact that he didn’t even peel the limes before he threw them into the blender. However, I was 100% sure that I would NOT be buying a Vitamix.

Yesterday, my friend Susan just happened to catch an ad on QVC for “Today’s Special Value,” which by some strange coincidence, was a Vitamix ON MY BIRTHDAY. It was not difficult to convince me that it was a sign, and it only took me about two hours to decide that I needed to buy myself a nice birthday gift, and that is why a shiny new Vitamix (I chose the black base) will be on its way to me, in care of my parents and to their house, sometime this week. I can’t wait to see what the thing can do. I feel sort of sad, however, that I am this excited about a blender.

Today has been less good, as is often the case the day after a big day like a birthday, due to the letdown of the celebration being over. However, I am grateful to the friends that made my day so special, and I was reminded that I was very lucky to work with such wonderful people.

Make it a great day, everyone!

One-derland…

One-derland…

Well, after four months of ups and downs at the scale, I can finally say that I have entered a new weight decade…and a new weight century! Anyone who has ever weighed a significant amount over 200 pounds probably has an idea of how excited I was when I stepped on the scale at Wednesday’s Weight Watchers meeting and found the scale read 198 pounds. This puts my weight loss total at 77 pounds, 37 of which I lost with Weight Watchers. My goal weight is somewhere in the neighborhood of 160-170 pounds, so I am over 2/3 of the way there, and I feel great about it! I fully expect it to take another year to reach my goal, as I am definitely experiencing some slow weight loss, but I know that I can make it! And my secondary goal was to weigh less than 200 pounds by my 36th birthday…which is coming up this Sunday! Hooray! Perhaps I will be at goal for my 37th birthday? We shall see!

Since last July, I have been wanting to get myself an adult-sized minky blanket that I saw on Etsy as my reward for reaching “One-derland” (which, for those of you who are not aware, is a cutesy title we weight loss seekers use to describe the day that there is a “1″ as the first number of our weight on the scale). This morning, I placed my order, and I can’t wait to get it! I have gotten minky blankets as baby gifts for a couple of different little ones, and I love how soft they are. I love a good blanket or throw, especially since I try to save money by keeping my home pretty cool in the winter, and this will be an awesome blanket to have! I am having it made in orange on one side and grey on the other, as those are the colors I am planning to decorate with when I embark on my new life.

I do have some food challenges coming up this week, including a lunch out today and a birthday party for me at work on Sunday, but I am just going to go with it! I have been making sensible choices all week in order to save my weekly P+ allowance for these two events, after all. I will be eating wheat on Sunday, which I have not had much of in a while, as my coworkers are bringing in all kinds of goodies, and we are going to be having pizza, and the ultimate coconut cake from Wegmans will be a part of the celebration, so I fully expect to be a bit achy on Monday…but it’s my birthday! It only comes once a year!

Make it a great day, everyone!

Winging it…

Winging it…

This morning, I took a cookie inspiration I read in a blog and turned it into a new and different cookie. This is totally not my thing, so I was super-excited with how they turned out! I don’t have a good name for them, so I am calling them almond, coconut, oatmeal, Craisin cookies. Bet you won’t be able to guess what’s in them!

Image

Anyway, here is the recipe:

1 cup ground almond meal/flour

1 cup shredded coconut (I used a low fat variety I get at Wegmans)

1/4 cup canola oil

1/2 t. baking soda

1/2 t. baking powder

1/3 cup sugar

1 egg

1/4 cup coconut milk

1 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup dried cranberries

Combine all ingredients. Form into 20 balls and bake at 350 degrees for 14 minutes. Allow to cool for several minutes before removing from cookie sheet and placing on cooling rack. Allow to cool thoroughly before putting into a storage container.

I plugged these into the Weight Watchers Recipe Builder and got a P+ total of 3 P+ per cookie. They are really satisfying, wheat-free, and relatively healthy, so I felt no guilt enjoying a couple of these cookies for my mid-morning snack.

I am going to be doing a lot more “winging it” in the immediate future, as I am going through a major life change. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that my husband and I have decided to divorce. We have been together for almost 12 years, and the amount of change and upheaval this is bringing about is significant. We are currently trying to wade through things in a way that causes the least amount of angst for both of us, which is really difficult. I don’t plan to discuss much about the divorce here, but I would expect to see some starting over posts once things are figured out and final.

Until then, enjoy a cookie! Make it a great day, everyone!

Revolutionary!

Revolutionary!

For the past week, I have been doing my new method of starting my Weight Watchers “day” with dinner the night before. So this means that whatever I eat for dinner is subtracted from my daily points plus total for the next day, and then everything I eat in the morning right up until dinner time comes out of the remaining points. It has really cut down on my night time snacking (as in, I have done NO night time snacking), and it has also kept me on track through a Thirty-One Gifts party (No wine! No desserts! No wheat!), as well as a formula company rep lunch at work (Lots of fruit! No wheat! Salad! My own balsamic as dressing, instead of the creamy Caesar dressing! No cannolis!). My cravings, thanks to my wheat-free eating, are practically zero, and I have not binged on food in over a week.

Last night, I went to Weight Watchers for my usual Tuesday night meeting. I weighed in with my leader Melissa, and I found out that I lost the four pounds that I had been up on the scale the previous week. She praised me for having a good week, and I immediately told her that it was just the four pounds I had been up the week before. Why must women invalidate themselves when faced with a compliment? I should have just said thank you. However, in the next breath, I told her how I had switched things up into something that was really working for me. I told her about how I was now tracking my points and how I had decided to do this based on some information in the Weekly from last week. Once the meeting started, she invited me to share this with the group, which I did gladly because I really think this could work for a lot of people. I am excited to see where this new way of tracking takes me. For the first time in a LONG time, I tracked faithfully all week, and I even ended the week with about 15 of my weekly points allowance left over. Usually, instead of that, I have one (or two!) days that I don’t track at all, and I assume that my weekly points are used on those days. However, not tracking means that I am certainly eating more than those weekly points on those days, and that is what leads to weight gainI certainly prefer to see the scale move in the other direction.

And now I continue on my journey to 200 pounds. My weight the past several weeks has been as follows:

  • 1/17/12 – 204.2 pounds
  • 1/24/12 – 202.2 pounds
  • 1/31/12 – 204.2 pounds
  • 2/10/12 – 203 pounds
  • 2/14/12 – 203 pounds
  • 2/21/12 – no weigh in
  • 2/28/12 – no weigh in
  • 3/6/12 – 205.2 pounds
  • 3/13/12 – 203 pounds
  • 3/20/12 – 207 pounds
  • 3/27/12 – 203 pounds

So, as you can see, that is basically 11 weeks of no progress at all. I had a brief shining moment 10 weeks ago when I was less than what I weigh now, and it did not last. I have hit 203 pounds three other times, and still I have not been able to make it consistently below that number. And my goal is to weight less than 200 pounds in time for my 36th birthday, which is coming up on April 29. I have four more weigh-ins before my birthday, and it should not be a problem to take off three pounds in four weeks. However, back on 1/24/12, when I weighed in at 202.2 pounds, I certainly didn’t think I would still be at this point ten weeks later.

Honestly, looking at the numbers laid out like that is kind of sobering. I have lost 72 pounds since January 2010, which is HUGE! However, we are facing the end of March here, and I can only claim 1.2 pounds of weight lost in the last two months. And I can really only blame myself for this fact. I know what the guidelines of the Weight Watchers program are. I know how to follow them. And I know that the plan works if I work the plan. However, I have clearly been off track for most of 2012, and that is why I don’t have much to show for my efforts. Yes, I have managed to maintain within a couple of pounds, but this is not my “happy place” weight-wise, and this is not a weight I want to maintain.

I am trying to keep myself in a mindful place, as I mentioned when I last wrote. I find myself thinking about my food as I am eating it, and I am trying not to multi-task all the time when I am eating. I don’t know that I have been successful on that frontier because I do still find myself eating in front of the TV or the computer or with my iPhone in my hand. Why is it so hard just to quiet my mind and concentrate on my meal? I would say that I am not doing the zombie-like eating that I have in the past as often, but I do still find my hand-to-mouth-with-no-real-thought-behind-it thing going on at times. I guess it is important just to recenter at those times and bring my thoughts back to the present and to what I am doing. I am planning to do some more reading surrounding this idea…just as soon as I finish the Nora Roberts trilogy that I am in the midst of!

Make it a great day, everyone!

Getting Started

Getting Started

Tonight, I had my Weight Watchers meeting, and I was surrounded by people who had milestones to celebrate. All I had to celebrate was a four-pound weight gain…ouch. Now, to be fair to myself, I am guessing I did not actually pack on four pounds of fat this week, as I would have had to eat 14,000 extra calories, and I was on track for five of the last seven days. But for whatever reason, the number on the scale tonight was four pounds higher than the number on the scale last week.

Tonight, I stayed after the meeting with all the new people who had just joined for the “Getting Started” session. In the course of the meeting, I started thinking that Weight Watchers would work a lot better for me if I would just do it. If, instead of following the program five days each week and then not tracking on the other two days, I would be honest with myself those other two days and actually write down what I eat and take ownership of it. Therefore, I decided to stay after for the Getting Started session and the Power Session to get recharged and recommitted to “working the program.”

I definitely think I have fallen into the rut of thinking that I can be “good” most of the time and still meet with “some” success at my meetings. Perhaps I am not taking the weight off as quickly as some people, but I am making it “livable” and making “lifestyle changes” and realizing that a slow steady weight loss is better than a crash weight loss. However, I am also realizing that going down two pounds, then up four, then down three, then up one, just to end up back at the same point I was at four weeks ago does not a weight loss plan make. At best, that is maintenance, but my plan isn’t really to maintain my weight at 45ish pounds higher than my goal weight. My plan is continuing to lose weight and getting to my goal.

I am switching it up this week, based on something I read in this week’s Weekly, to see if I can set myself up for more success. I find myself, recently, hoarding points throughout the day to use for dinner. I sometimes finish lunch and find myself with 14-16 points left over, and I save them for dinner. Well, a dinner of 14-16 points is completely unnecessary on a day-to-day basis, and it’s difficult to fit that many points into a meal at home, so that leads to some snacking. Starting tonight, I am going to start my new day with dinner. I ate nine points for dinner tonight, and I have that as my first meal. I now have 23 points left to use before dinner tomorrow night. I tend to eat six to eight points for breakfast, which will leave me 15 to 17 points for lunch and two snacks throughout the day. This is TOTALLY doable. And I have no desire to snack after dinner tonight because I don’t want to use up any of tomorrow’s points before tomorrow even gets here! I have committed to trying it this way for the next week and seeing how I feel at that point. If it does not make an appreciable difference, I will potentially switch back to the “normal” way. But if it works well, perhaps this will be the shot in the arm I need to get and stay on track.

I have also been thinking about mindfulness lately, on the heels on a conversation I was a part of recently. And I think that mindfulness is something I struggle with in a lot of areas but especially with food. I often eat without thinking about what is going on in my mind and what I am shoveling into my mouth. This has been a big theme when I am eating in the car on the way home from work. I have mentioned before stopping for fast food on the way home from work after a 12-hour shift and not even making it back onto the highway before the food is gone. At work, I have a 30-minute lunch break, and eating lunch in that short amount of time does not always allow for mindfulness. And when I have something in the house that is a special treat (like the flourless peanut butter cookies that I made last week and must never make again because I ate the entire batch in two days), it is not unusual for me to find myself mindlessly shoveling them in. I know I don’t need to eat them all. And the fourth (fifth, sixth, etc.) never tastes as good as the first one or two. But it is almost like I go into this fugue state and just keep eating. I would love to work on this and am thinking about things I can do to make myself more mindful of what I am eating as I am eating it. I guess awareness is the first step, and I have not achieved awareness in all circumstances as of yet. But I am motivated to get there!

Make it a great day, everyone!

Oh, hai…

Oh, hai…

I have started using the site 750 Words again this month, and that means that I have been doing enormous 750-word brain dumps on another (100% private) platform. Once I am done writing that stuff, I kind of lack the desire to click on the “New Post” click here and continue writing. For those who don’t know, 750 Words is a site that encourages you to write 750 words, all off the top of your head with no preconceived intention in mind, every day. This amount equates roughly to three typewritten, double-spaced pages. You can write about anything, but because it is a secure site (unlike a blog), I use it to vent about whatever happens to be on my mind. I like that it is basically like a diary, but I don’t have to worry about anyone finding it and reading things that I might not really want to speak out loud. There are also badges that you earn for things like writing a certain number of days in a row or writing without distractions, and I love to earn badges on any website, so I love that. And it also reports who fast of a typist you are, and I love trying to beat my best! I usually am in the 65-75 WPM range, which I find myself impressed with!

When last we spoke, I had given up wheat, and WOW! It has been a great decision! I feel great and am sleeping better than I had been, and I find myself not craving anything, which is not my norm at all. In fact, we had a party at work yesterday, and I even turned down the rich and decadent chocolate cake that someone had brought with no qualms whatsoever.  I definitely feel much more “even” without the wheat, and I am excited to see where this takes me. I did eat a lot yesterday, but I don’t know that I went over my allotted points and my weekly points combined, and I had not used any of my weekly points before yesterday, so one day is certainly not a problem.

I have also been exercising! I gave up my gym membership in the interest of saving money, so I have been pretty sloth-like lately. However, the weather has gotten much nicer (although, to be fair, the weather never got too bad this year, and this has been the BEST! WINTER! EVER! for this girl), and I got out of the house three times last week and went walking! I am aiming to do so three times at least this week, perhaps with a fourth time thrown in for good measure. I have hit up a couple of different parks/walking trails so far, but today, I am just going to take to the streets of my neighborhood and the surrounding area and see what I can do.

Make it a great day, everyone!

Food. It’s always about the food.

Food. It’s always about the food.

Recently, I have strayed from the path of Weight Watchers-related righteousness. In fact, the past week or two have been like one long binge, with small pockets of on plan eating shining through the haze very occasionally. After two years of keeping my eating relatively under control, I have slipped, and I am having trouble getting back on track. My size 14 jeans are feeling tight, but the good news is that I got rid of the size 16 and size 18 pants in my wardrobe, so I don’t have anything to grow into (save a few pair of corduroys that are going out in my next Goodwill bag). Therefore, I have no other option than to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back with the program.

Now, I am kind of an à la carte Weight Watchers member, in that there are things in the program that I very definitely put my own spin on. First of all, I almost always go over on my weekly points. On whatever happens to be my “cheat day,” I tend to overeat to the point that there is no way to count how many points I have consumed, OR the number of points I have consumed are much more than whatever I have left over from the weekly 49. I also don’t drink plain water ever, although this is less of a thing on the new plan (it calls for six glasses of nonalcoholic liquids each day, which I definitely do consume). I also don’t do a great job of tracking the good health guidelines (and often don’t fulfill them all…especially the healthy oils one), and I rarely get specific physical activity in (although I keep meaning just to get out and start walking a couple of miles each day… especially as the weather has gotten nicer). However, I do use the points plus structure to track my eating on most days, and I do attend (and love) meetings (most weeks…not these last two) because I love the community feeling and the support I get.

I have tried many, many diets, and Weight Watchers is the one I have stuck with the longest and the one I know works for me. However, my info ho’ nature means that I continue reading about nutrition and how different foods work with the body, and this has brought me to where I am today, which is on day one of a wheat-free way of eating. And I reached this place while reading the new book Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis. Dr. Davis is  a cardiologist who reports in his book that he has seen a wheat-free diet “cure” his patients of such ailments as colitis, type II diabetes, obesity, arthritis, and a variety of other ailments that are either caused by inflammation in the body or an autoimmune condition. I use the term cure loosely because obviously these underlying conditions do not go away totally, but they do control the symptoms to the point that some of his patients enjoy a complete “remission” of these conditions when they give up wheat.

Back when I was in my late 20s and early 30s, I had some pretty severe inflammatory symptoms, including heart burn, stress-induced irritable bowel issues, and severe arthritic pain in my knees to the point that I could not just stand up under my own power from the couch or from the front seat of the car. Instead, I had to either pull myself to a standing position or push up on the back of my seat to stand up. It was around this time that I tried the Atkins diet for the first time, and I found it to be revolutionary for me. First of all, the science behind it made sense to the nerd in me. Of course, if I stopped eating carbs, my body would become a more efficient machine. I enjoyed moderate success on Atkins, but the low carb lifestyle was not easily sustainable for me, so I eventually strayed. And I don’t believe that such a fad way of eating is really good for most people in the long run. However, when I was following Atkins, some interesting things happened. First of all, my irritable bowel symptoms got better. Secondly, my heart burn went away. And third (and best) of all, my knee pain got almost 100% better. I still found myself with some pain if I spent too much time in one position (like on a long car trip sitting in the back seat), but over a couple of months I started to be able to get up under my own steam, without having to come up with a plan concerning what fixed object I was going to use to catapult myself into a standing position. And it was at this point that I started to think about the inflammatory effects of food on the body.

Fast forward to January 2010, when I hit rock bottom as far as my weight was concerned. I started counting calories and paying attention to what I was eating. Eleven months later, after a long plateau, I joined Weight Watchers and started losing again. And fifteen months after that, I found myself having achieved 72 pounds of weight loss and feeling (not including the last two weeks) pretty great about myself. For the most part, I have been in control of my eating and have been following Weight Watchers (or at least my version), and I am healthier than I have been in a long time. I have done this my eating a wide array of foods, but I have still noticed that eating some carbs (bread, cookies, cake, crackers, etc.) makes me crave those carbs and all their cousins. And this is where Wheat Belly comes in.

Over the past two weeks, most of my binge-y foods have been in the forms of carbs. There have been cans of Pringles, bags of Chex mix, boxes of Life cereal, plates of homemade cookies, slices of cake, baskets of pita chips, and many other carb-y, wheat-based foods standing in the way of me and control over my eating. I stood in the break room at work the other day and ate what probably amounted to ten cookies that a sweet NICU family had left for us to thank us for caring for their twins. I tasted the first cookie, and it was really yummy. I don’t know that I completely tasted or appreciated the following nine as they made their way past my lips. I was not eating mindfully. I was just shoveling the food in.

I find myself this morning feeling sluggish, with some very definite heartburn and an ache in my knees. I don’t want to go back down that path of not being able to spring up from a chair under my own power and feeling always like there is a burning lump in my throat. Therefore, I am going to see if Dr. Davis is onto something. I am not giving up all carbs because, again, that is not sustainable. And I am not jumping on the gluten-free bandwagon (while I know that many people truly do have a gluten intolerance or celiac disease, I don’t believe I have such an issue, and I think that the current trend of gluten-free products is partly a marketing gimmick). Instead, I am giving up wheat. This means that I will have to be more mindful of what I put in my body, which is a good thing, and most of the processed foods that are my nemesis will no longer find their way into my house.

On the scale this morning, I was up nine pounds (some of it, I am sure, water weight) from my lowest weight on this journey. I am looking forward to saying goodbye to those pounds and more of their friends. There is plenty of fresh, whole, healthy food out there waiting for me, and I can’t wait to get started on it!

Make it a great day, everyone!

The frustrating, followed by the promising…

The frustrating, followed by the promising…

Apparently, my head has not been all that together recently because I just, in going over my various bills, discovered that I missed two payments this month, one for my student loan and one for a credit card. I was able to transfer money from my savings to my checking account to cover them, but it is still frustrating to do that, especially when I am a total type-A-spreadsheet-budgeter type person. However, the transition from my 2011 spreadsheet to my 2012 spreadsheet apparently messed with my head, and there you go. The important thing is that I fixed it and won’t let it happen again.

In other (yet still budget-related) news, this is the end of the first week of the first two-week paycheck period of the new year, and I have been doing the envelope method of budgeting my grocery and spending money for a week now. So far, it is really working well, and I am confident I will be able to continue this without a problem (barring any HUGE unexpected expenses). I withdrew $100 for my grocery spending, and I withdrew $40 to add to $50 I already had in my wallet that was going to go toward spending money. At the end of this first week, my grocery envelope is empty (although I have $100 to add to it tomorrow, as my total grocery budget for two weeks is $200), and my spending money envelope has around $10 in it (and again, I will be adding $100 to it tomorrow for the second week of the paycheck period).

My plans for that $100 involve a purchase at the Thirty-One party I am attending tomorrow night, my bowling league cost on Friday, lunch out on Friday, and my Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday. I thought the Thirty-One purchase would come from the money I spent this week, but then I realized that Thursday marked the start of week two, so I will be including it there. I expect to spend about $40 at the party, about $10 at bowling, roughly $20 at lunch (probably less, but I want to plan a little high), and $13 at Weight Watchers, for a total of $83, which gets me in under the $100 I have planned for spending money before I get paid again. It’s amazing what happens when you really plan out your spending! I went to Target yesterday and bought only things I needed, including some storage containers, makeup remover wipes, and the sparkling waters I like to drink. I perused the shoes and clothing for a bit, but nothing extra made its way into my cart. I also have not made additional stops at the grocery store and have made two of the three recipes I have planned for the week (and the third one is for Friday, which is actually in week two!) so far. I feel pretty proud of myself!

Make it a great day, everyone!