Yesterday was my last day of clinical for my mother/baby course (official name: Family Health Promotion I). Part of me is SO EXCITED that I am down one more clinical rotation. Part of me is SO SAD that I won’t get to hang out with random babies anymore. They are just so darn cute and little and fun to watch and learn from. And at the end of the day, I get to leave them with their parents…and that, my friends, is priceless!
I am pretty sure that Bill checks in here from time to time, so here’s the part where I say, “Hi, honey! Don’t freak out when I talk about the fever! I know it’s not time for this yet! But, you know, just sharing with my blogging friends what I am thinking! And you might not want to read this…just saying!”
Anyway, back to my regularly scheduled blog…
Taking this class when you are someone who is either married or planning to marry and does not yet have kids but does plan to have kids causes you to confront a lot of different things. Before taking this class, my basic view of having a baby was “you come to the hospital, you put the epidural in, you labor in relative comfort in a bed that has stirrups attached to the end of it, you dilate to 10 cm, you push for about 8 million years, and then a baby comes out.” Pretty rudimentary, I know. However, I was Not Having Kids Soon. I didn’t need to know more than that. I knew that not everyone used drugs. I knew that some people did radical things like have babies at home. And I had watched enough of the Baby Story and Birth Day to know that not every delivery was the same. However, I am someone who cries when she bumps her head. So as much as the thought of a needle in my back freaked my freak out, I figured that was the way to go.
So my professor is a nurse-midwife. She is pretty well-balanced about the whole drugs vs. no drugs thing. She is pretty well-balanced with the whole vagina vs. c-section thing. She is pretty well-balanced with the whole breast vs. bottle thing. She tells us that not all drugs are bad, and not all c-sections are bad. She tells us that breast feeding is a personal choice. She gives us both sides of the issues and lets us figure them out ourselves. And hence, the confronting of a lot of different things…
I am glad that I had a chance to take this class before I ever set about the business of having kids. As many people know, I am an Information Whore (Info ‘Ho), and I am all about knowing as much as I can about everything. So when I do have a baby, I am going to be one of those annoying, opinionated, why-won’t-she-just-do-this-my-way women that doctors sometimes hate. But my view of birth has changed…and I look forward to harnessing the power that women have and using it for good! I look forward to trying the no drugs route and using things like mindful meditation and deep breathing to see me through. And I look forward to the day that I can do what I think is best for me and go through a natural child birth (unless there is some emergency, of course) and then breast feed my child or children.
Anyway, that brings us to the fever (if you are still reading, Bill, this is another part you might not want to hear). Hanging out with babies all day? Makes me want one RIGHT NOW! Now, sitting here in my basement, working on homework (or blogging…whatever), I don’t want a baby right now at all. My logical side says things like, “Your wedding is in October. Not baby time.” and, “You don’t graduate until next December. Not baby time.” and, “You want to enjoy marriage for a little while before you have a child. Not baby time.” But the emotional side thinks of how great it will be to have a little Mary-and-Bill running around who will be a celebration of our love (and take care of us in our old age), and that person thinks, “Man, I WISH it were baby time!”
But it’s not. However, I can see baby time in the future, and that is good enough for me. And now that mother/baby is over, I expect the fever to go away for a while…only to come back again when we decide that the time is right for us to add to our family. And then I will use all my knowledge that I have learned by taking care of the laboring mommies and random babies that helped to make this semester such a good one for me. I will miss them!