A few quiet moments with my thoughts…


It has been a blah kind of week here, recovering from the holiday festivities and reflecting on the year 2005. I have been busy working at both my jobs and doing school stuff, and in any spare time, I have wanted nothing more than to sit on my rather large (but getting smaller every day) ass and stare at the TV.

It’s hard for me to believe that this was the last holiday season that I will spend here at the home of my family. Next year, I will be a newlywed, decorating my own home and putting up my own tree and starting my own traditions. Bill and I have already discussed a little bit how we will divide up our time for Christmas…I recognized that he would not be down with me leaving him behind so that I could come spend the night before Christmas here, waiting for Santa to come. New traditions are good, and this new journey we are setting out on will be amazing, but the little girl in me will mourn a little bit for the traditions she is leaving behind.

Everything has had a sense of finality and change to it since October 21, 2005, passed by. On October 21, 2006, Bill and I will join together as man and wife. But I have a bunch of lasts to get out of the way first. In November, when I renewed my car registration, it was with the thought that this was the last time that I would renew in my “old” name. It was also with the thought that next year, when the time to get my car inspected rolls around, I will be living somewhere new. On Thanksgiving, I thought about how it was my last Thanksgiving as a single woman, and I was spending it working at the hospital. For the holidays next year, Bill and I will be a unit. Where I go, he goes, and vice versa. On Christmas Eve, my parents had their annual party, and when the party ended, Bill headed home to bed, and I headed up to bed. Next year, we will go home together. And this year, I will file my taxes as a single person for the last time (meaning that my dad will file my taxes as a single person for the last time because, well, I don’t do that stuff). Next year, even though we will be newly married, it will be time to file jointly…hopefully the Federal Government will smile upon us and a refund will come our way!

Now, I don’t mean to sound as if I am dreading these changes. After all, this is a new and wonderful life that we are setting out to create together. But for someone who admittedly fears change and doesn’t like new experiences, this is a little scary. I know that it will feel less so when it is actually happening…but for now, a little part of me thinks back on my childhood (as well as the last few years living back in my childhood home) and can’t believe that it will soon be time to leave this all behind. It seems I grew up when I wasn’t looking, and now it’s time to take the world by storm!


On another note, when considering the mine disaster in West Virginia, I want to extend my deepest sympathy and truest prayers to the families and friends of the men lost. I also want to ackowledge the miracle of the lone survivor! As a resident of Pennsylvania, who cried tears of joy as Acting Governor Mark Schweiker announced to us a few years ago that all the men trapped in the Quecreek mine disaster in our own state were alive, I really feel for those who spent the night waiting for a miracle that didn’t happen. I hope that we can all keep them in our thoughts as they go through this terrible time.


6 responses »

  1. I know that you already know this, but your family will always be there for you. The beautiful thing about your family is that they have given you the best gift that they can give: A wonderful home from which to start your own new life. You will always treasure your time with them, but you will also be able to pass those things that you love onto your own new family.

  2. I agree with lonna, and while it won’t be exactly the same, think of the things you’ll be doing with bill as additions, not replacements, for what you already do. you already said you recognize this, but it’ll be fun! and it’s great to have good memories.

  3. Welcome back and happy new year! OMG, I COMPLETELY understand how you feel – as I’m getting married this April and have already started some of those changes and it has left me shell-shocked. Even happy, good changes can be stressful and traumatizing. If you ever want to talk wedding stuff – feel free to shoot me an email! Otherwise – hang in there. It DOES get easier (from one change-resistant gal to another). Big hugs!

  4. New beginnings are so exciting because there is that air of the unknown to them. I completely understand how married life will be such a big change for you – but you’re gonna love it.

  5. Well, bill left a comment. That’s so cute. :)Also, I also lived in PA when the Quecreek Mine Disaster happened, and I thought your phrase: “They sat up all night waiting for a miracle that didn’t come” was beautiful, and sad.

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