I am living my last week in my parents’ home. At this time next week, I will be a resident of a small town in the Poconos, living with my soon-to-be husband and a whole lot of nature. The closest nature will be the robin that has built its nest on the light over our back deck. Said robin was also the cause of a Big Fight. I have a feeling that, as we settle into this whole Living Together thing, more Big Fights will happen like that one. You know, the ones that don’t really mean anything but somehow happen anyway…

When I was a little girl, we used to visit my great-grandfather in Connecticut during the summer. And every summer, above his back porch light, a bird built a nest in which to rear its young. Every summer, we looked forward to seeing that nest and watching that bird.

Bill and I were on the phone a few weeks ago, when he mentioned that he had taken down a bird’s nest over his light, and he was a little upset because the bird came back and built that nest up again. His solution was that he was going to take the nest down again…at least, that was the solution he was considering before I went all crazy on him.

Suffice to say, the nest is now safe.

The nest is especially safe now that I have realized that it is a robin who is making its babies’ first home above our light. You see, robins are special birds to the Thomas family. Every year, my mom and my aunt engage in a race to see who can see the first robin of the spring. And when my grandfather was going into the hospital for the last time, in March of 1990, all he wanted was to see a robin before he went into the hospital. Unfortunately, he didn’t see his robin, and he passed away due to complications from surgery. Therefore, robins have taken on almost mythical proportions in my life, and I could not stand to see a robin’s nest destroyed.

Anyway, we are discussing quite frequently now the fine art of compromise and the role it will play in our new life together. Right now, it’s not something that we are overly good at. However, I am sure that we will catch on quickly, and all will be well in the Poconos.


11 responses »

  1. I wasn’t being insulting! – I am in awe of you. Email sucks sometimes due to lack of tone. When I go to visit my parents, I have to keep it under 4 days max and the whole time I am there I feel like we are constantly on the thin edge of open war. I just don’t think I have it in me to live with my parents as an adult. Good luck on your next transition!And the robin’s and other small creatures of the world say thank you.

  2. Compromise is a very difficult but very important lesson. So is getting to the heart of an argument – because as you say they are often about something much different then what they appear. Best wishes to you in your transition. And to your robins too.

  3. I’m glad you saved the nest! Mary rocks. I’m sure he knows that isn’t the last time you will ‘go all crazy’ on him. Ahhh, the married life. Can’t wait!

  4. We have neighbors who, for the second consecutive year, have had a blue jay build a nest in the light fixture by their side door. Not only do they leave the nest there, they stop using the side door until the bird is done using the nest. That might be taking it a wee bit too far, but it is so sweet, just the same.

  5. Good luck with the move! Compromise is everything – so is arguing. They are both fine arts. Show me a couple that doesn’t argue and I’ll show you a couple without passion.

  6. I love the significance of the robin to you. I feel so sad that your Grandfather was not able to see his last one but am sure he’s smiling down at you for saving that nest!And as far as still living w/ the folks? I loved my final days living with my Mom. It was such a warm feeling to go from my childhood home to my new life. Cherish these last memories while you can, before you move on to this new, amazing chapter of your life!

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