This past weekend, we had CC#1’s family birthday party at our house. Party’s at our house often are weird, soap opera-ish things because of the social relationship we have with CC#1’s and CC#2’s mom. We share many of the same friends, and we do a great job of getting along and enjoying each other’s company, for the most part, and not really just for the sake of the kids. For the party on Sunday, their mom was there, along with her other two kids. And it is often that way when we have get-togethers for the kids.
However, as we move closer and closer to this marriage, I know that people are wondering if things are going to change. I usually tend to take a back burner to her, and I know people wonder if that will always be so. Here’s an example…although the birthday party was at my house, she was the one who orchestrated the cutting and passing out of the cake, as well as the subsequent clean-up of dishes. Now, part of me thinks that I didn’t really want to be in charge of the clean-up anyway. But another part of me thinks that this is my house, and she was really sort of playing the role of hostess in it.
I know that the actual marriage will be an adjustment for all of us. I will have to get used to sharing my money and not having sole responsibility for what I choose to spend it on. Although we have been together for a long time, WJC and I will have to get used to being married, and CC#1 and CC#2 will have to get used to having an actual stepmother, instead of their dad just having a girlfriend. And their mom will have to get used to taking a backseat sometimes in WJC’s responsibilities, whereas right now he doesn’t often make her do that. And when kids come along? That will be another huge adjustment as well.
I am glad that we have a good relationship as a base for what we are now building. However, I expect that the next few months will not be without growing pains as we work to get used to this new time in our lives.