Doesn’t that title just make you want to read further?
Way back in 2005, when I was a new blogger, I wrote a post about how I am a 100% type A personality. This means that I am a good leader and a go-getter. It means I am motivated and work until the job is done. It also means that I switch on my potty mouth and lose my temper every single time I am in the car, which leads to me yelling profanities at other drivers. I never gesture where they can see me, but I do give them the finger under the dash. So I am a type A wimp, I guess, because I live in the Poconos, and I don’t want to get shot by that rifle that guy has hanging in his back truck window.
But I digress. Instead, let’s talk about why I was pissy today. I can only imagine I have some PMS coming on. My cravings for salty and chocolatey things lend cred to this theory. But once I got in the car to go do some shopping, my generally good mood headed right into the toilet. The first person to make my temper flare? The lady at Kohl’s who, instead of taking her cart back to the store, hiked it up onto the grass median and went on her merry way. I hate that at any store, but at Kohl’s the carts aren’t big enough to carry more than you could just carry in your own two hands. And SHE HAD TWO HANDS!!! I saw! Carry it out, next time. Anyway, Kohl’s is about 20 minutes from my house, and to get home, I spend about 12 minutes on a highway that has a 65 MPH speed limit that drops to 55 MPH as we get closer to the mountains. I generally go a steady 70 MPH because the cops don’t patrol much past the spot where it turns to 55 MPH, and they don’t seem to give a shit about a 30-something speeder in a white Subaru when they are out. Well, there was a truck in front of me in the right lane going painfully slow, and in the left lane was a truck going painfully slow also but faster than the other guy. Coming up in the distance was a truck who, it turns out, was going about 80 MPH. I had plenty of time to get over, so I signalled and pulled into the left lane to make an effort to pass the slowest of the slow drivers. Well, apparently my slide into the left lane was just enough to keep Mr. 80 MPH from getting to his destination on time. He roared up behind me so that I couldn’t really even see his headlights behind me. Well, two can play at that game. I slowed down and boxed him in a couple of times before finally letting him go on his not-so-merry way. Okay, on second thought, maybe I do want to get shot. At least, that’s what that little episode suggested. Luckily, that guy’s gunrack seemed to be at home, and I live on to practice my more colorful language on the citizens of Pennsylvania (and sometimes New Jersey).