Tonight, I had my Weight Watchers meeting, and I was surrounded by people who had milestones to celebrate. All I had to celebrate was a four-pound weight gain…ouch. Now, to be fair to myself, I am guessing I did not actually pack on four pounds of fat this week, as I would have had to eat 14,000 extra calories, and I was on track for five of the last seven days. But for whatever reason, the number on the scale tonight was four pounds higher than the number on the scale last week.
Tonight, I stayed after the meeting with all the new people who had just joined for the “Getting Started” session. In the course of the meeting, I started thinking that Weight Watchers would work a lot better for me if I would just do it. If, instead of following the program five days each week and then not tracking on the other two days, I would be honest with myself those other two days and actually write down what I eat and take ownership of it. Therefore, I decided to stay after for the Getting Started session and the Power Session to get recharged and recommitted to “working the program.”
I definitely think I have fallen into the rut of thinking that I can be “good” most of the time and still meet with “some” success at my meetings. Perhaps I am not taking the weight off as quickly as some people, but I am making it “livable” and making “lifestyle changes” and realizing that a slow steady weight loss is better than a crash weight loss. However, I am also realizing that going down two pounds, then up four, then down three, then up one, just to end up back at the same point I was at four weeks ago does not a weight loss plan make. At best, that is maintenance, but my plan isn’t really to maintain my weight at 45ish pounds higher than my goal weight. My plan is continuing to lose weight and getting to my goal.
I am switching it up this week, based on something I read in this week’s Weekly, to see if I can set myself up for more success. I find myself, recently, hoarding points throughout the day to use for dinner. I sometimes finish lunch and find myself with 14-16 points left over, and I save them for dinner. Well, a dinner of 14-16 points is completely unnecessary on a day-to-day basis, and it’s difficult to fit that many points into a meal at home, so that leads to some snacking. Starting tonight, I am going to start my new day with dinner. I ate nine points for dinner tonight, and I have that as my first meal. I now have 23 points left to use before dinner tomorrow night. I tend to eat six to eight points for breakfast, which will leave me 15 to 17 points for lunch and two snacks throughout the day. This is TOTALLY doable. And I have no desire to snack after dinner tonight because I don’t want to use up any of tomorrow’s points before tomorrow even gets here! I have committed to trying it this way for the next week and seeing how I feel at that point. If it does not make an appreciable difference, I will potentially switch back to the “normal” way. But if it works well, perhaps this will be the shot in the arm I need to get and stay on track.
I have also been thinking about mindfulness lately, on the heels on a conversation I was a part of recently. And I think that mindfulness is something I struggle with in a lot of areas but especially with food. I often eat without thinking about what is going on in my mind and what I am shoveling into my mouth. This has been a big theme when I am eating in the car on the way home from work. I have mentioned before stopping for fast food on the way home from work after a 12-hour shift and not even making it back onto the highway before the food is gone. At work, I have a 30-minute lunch break, and eating lunch in that short amount of time does not always allow for mindfulness. And when I have something in the house that is a special treat (like the flourless peanut butter cookies that I made last week and must never make again because I ate the entire batch in two days), it is not unusual for me to find myself mindlessly shoveling them in. I know I don’t need to eat them all. And the fourth (fifth, sixth, etc.) never tastes as good as the first one or two. But it is almost like I go into this fugue state and just keep eating. I would love to work on this and am thinking about things I can do to make myself more mindful of what I am eating as I am eating it. I guess awareness is the first step, and I have not achieved awareness in all circumstances as of yet. But I am motivated to get there!
Make it a great day, everyone!