So this intuitive eating thing has quite the learning curve, and it turns out you can do some quasi-intuitive eating while still doing things like wondering how many calories you burned at the gym this morning and also stepping on the scale, “just to see what it says” (spoiler alert: nothing good). I am still reading the book, and I am recognizing myself in a LOT of its paragraphs. Something I thought that no one else could struggle with as badly as I did is actually something that quite a few people seem to have a problem with. So while I still don’t 100% hear my body when it is telling me I am hungry, and I am not fantastic about leaving anything on my plate (I have long been a card-carrying member of the Clean Plate Club), I am willing to believe that there might be something to this whole idea. I maybe could get out from under food’s thumb someday.
Anyway, there have been some things that were major binge foods in the past that I have not been eating lately (because they are not the first thing on the list of things I want to eat when I start thinking about what I am hungry for). One of these is ice cream. A stressful day has often sent me down to Wawa for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for dinner, and during this a-lot-worse-than-usual food time, those days were happening pretty often. However, it has been several weeks since I ate ice cream. Until this week. This week, a coworker made (!!!) an amazing ice cream cake, and I had a piece at lunch.
It was one piece. I didn’t overeat. I didn’t feel bad about it at all. However, within an hour, my arthritic left knee was SCREAMING at me. It was stiff and painful. Getting into and out of chairs was agony (and I was at work, where I sometimes spend a lot of time feeding babies, which involves a lot of getting in and out of chairs). It reminded me of the pain I got in my knees during some of my worst binge eating times, pain that got better when I did the Atkins diet, thereby causing me to assume that there was some inflammatory process from eating carbs that I was fixing by avoiding them for the most part.
For the past three weeks, I have been eating plenty of carbs. I have had a bagel for breakfast most days. I have eaten two loaves of this amazing multigrain bread from Wegmans that I love. I have had pasta several times. And rice. And even some chocolate. And I have not had knee pain. One serving of ice cream cake, and the pain was intense. So my body seemed to be telling me that ice cream was maybe not a great option for me. The pain is still there, although it is better. And I don’t feel any great urge to eat ice cream in the near future (although I never say never, of course).
It turns that I am in there, trying to communicate with myself. I hope to continue to get better at listening to those messages as they become louder than the voice of food.